Stacey O'Gorman, Holistic Sexuality Mentor 10.08.22

Radical acceptance of ourselves - letting go of shame & finding our way to liberation together!

When it comes to our sexuality, I believe we need to change the way we are talking to ourselves, talking to others and teaching our young ones. There is still so much body shaming, sexism, queer shaming and slut shaming taking place everyday in our communities. We’re still seeing messages everywhere that it’s not ok to be anything outside the box of the cis, heterosexual, conservative, skinny, white person. You don’t have to look much further than the current debates and bills passed around abortion rights or conversion therapy to realise how far away from real acceptance and understanding we still are when it comes to sexual autonomy and freedom.

But if I look at the long, heavy history our societies have around sex negativity, sexual repression and oppression of our bodies - especially for women, trans and gender non-conforming individuals - I do see a definite shift in the collective understanding & attitudes, particularly recently. Conversations around safe, healthy relationships (with ourselves and with others) are becoming more and more normalised and encouraged. We are starting to see a more diverse language evolving around sex, pleasure and the freedom to express ourselves exactly as we are.

I think this shift can be attributed to a range of interrelated things - we’re seeing activism explode out on social media, inspiring us to take action in our own circles & communities, we’re able to access information and support we couldn’t before, and there are more platforms for us to share our stories and support one another. The fact that we can watch shows on Netflix like “Sex, Love and Goop”, “The Principles of Pleasure” and “Sex Education” makes me feel like these sex-positive messages are swimming closer and closer into the mainstream. Books like ‘Come As You Are’ by Emily Nagoski and ‘Pleasure Activism’ by Adrienne Maree Brown have become New York Times Bestsellers - there is a hunger for a revised and evolved exploration into sexuality, and it is being fed.

The more we normalise conversations around sexuality, diversity and love towards ourselves and each other, the more our children will grow up with more confidence, self-love, strong boundaries, and an ability to experience more pleasure and joy within themselves. Growing up knowing that you don’t have to conform to some unnecessary standards of what’s “normal” in order to be loved is going to create an incredibly powerful society of humans. I’m really excited to see society grow into a more loving and caring space where everyone is accepted and loved for who they really are. x

Written by Stacey O'Gorman