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Bailey Wiley, Musician 05.04.23

Bailey shares with us the trials, triumphs and learnings of transitioning between motherhood, and getting back into the creative industries.

To step into motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice. The paramount expression of selflessness. I found putting my identity and sense of self on hold was the hardest part. Letting go of the old and in with the new - It's like swimming in an ocean with no legs. Yet every woman that chooses to have kids seems to be doing it. Surviving or thriving is the question? In the end 'the hustle' was the thief of my joy. And here we are again.Triggered.Is what I'm doing 'enough'.

THE TRANSITION

I believe we are all searching for a constant sense of belonging. To feel enough. To be enough. To standout enough. Be mindful enough. Creative enough. Nurturing enough. But fuck me. When is enough, enough?

I'm a creative and mostly known for my music but I want to bring light to something else. The process of 'transition'. The notion between motherhood and then back into creative industries as professional women. The reality of that notion; the baggage that comes with it and how we can advocate for women going through it.

Sacrifice. Courage. Finding freedom.

To step into motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice. The paramount expression of selflessness. I found putting my identity and sense of self on hold was the hardest part. Letting go of the old and in with the new - It's like swimming in an ocean with no legs. Yet every woman that chooses to have kids seems to be doing it. Surviving or thriving is the question? In the end 'the hustle' was the thief of my joy. And here we are again.

Triggered.

Is what I'm doing 'enough'.

Second thought. Don't get caught in the fast lane phase. You're going to miss all the good parts. Life just becomes a watered down version of its self and fuck that. This is not an adaptation of a future idea. But more so a reminder for the present to pipe the fuck down when life throws it's curve balls. Creating space to future endeavors.

The truth is, I believe we're all just surviving. Sometimes putting one foot in front of the other is all we have capacity for and that's okay. I like to describe motherhood as feeling 'weathered'. It feels like you can age tremendously throughout these storms. The fatigue. The loneliness. The guilt. The weight gain. The forgetfulness. The list goes on, followed by the 'transition'.

The spreading yourself too thin transition. The bottle feeding transition. The daycare transition. The 'cry it out' transition. (Unsure if this one's for me or the kid)

I'm finding the balance for transition is compassion.

- Express compassion when the storm comes.

- Show up.

- Support goes the distance.

- Comparable suffering serves no one.

I like to come back to the story of 'The Tortoise and the Hare'. God that hare looked great prancing around but in the end homeboy fell flat on his face. Point being, it must be exhausting always trying to win your own race. Not only do we need to find compassion for woman in 'transition' but we need to find compassion for ourselves. In all walks of life. Again. Don't be the thief of your own joy.

You are enough.

Written by Bailey Wiley

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